Tuesday, April 8, 2014

10,000 Pageviews

I don't post or check up on my blog very often anymore, but I did tonight. In doing so, I realized that I have finally hit over 10,000 pageviews for this blog. 10,027 to be exact. Again, mostly from Russia, but hey, that's okay with me.

It makes me happy that so many people have viewed my blog. It's been up here I believe almost 3 years if not longer, but to see that number just really brings a smile to my face.

To be honest, I am not sure what this all means to me though. Life is very... Tough right now. We're having a son in three months. We found out our rent will go up if we sign a new lease. I'm no longer working after May 16. I'll also potentially be losing leadership in the ministry that I'm in with Intervarsity after this semester. I have no idea where the Lord is leading us, me, right now. I'm lost. Yet... I feel like everything is falling into place whether I choose to see it or not. Isn't that fascinating? Everything that is happening right now is for a purpose, a reason, and it will glorify God in the end. All that is being done is for His will for our lives. It is beautiful and crazy to watch your entire life molding before your very eyes to serve Him. So what do I do with this?

I praise the Lord for allowing this blog to get over 10,000 pageviews. Without Him, none of this would have been possible. It hasn't been the best blog, the most up-kept, or even that fascinating, but it has been a tool to share bits and pieces of my life with the world around me. Everything that is said and done comes back to my relationship with God. Even my obvious screw-ups illustrate something about the power He has in my life. Watching someone go from depressed, suicidal, naive, ignorant, young, and pathetic turn into a beautiful creation is just marvelous. And while I feel that I barely illustrate the things that I just mentioned, I know the Lord can still use what little is here to touch someone out there.

So thank you, everyone, for being here, for reading, following, and keeping up with my crazy life. Even if you were only here for one post to never read again, thank you. You have made a difference. :) I hope that it made some difference in your life too.

With much love and thanks, God bless you all.

La Bella Mariposa

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Names Picked!!!!

We go in on Monday, March 3, 2014 (the day of my 20th birthday) to see our baby for the first time. Isn't that exciting!? I am so nervous to see this baby. Aaaahhh. 

Anyway, we have names picked out finally.
For a girl: Jocelyn Lee
For a boy: Samuel Alberto


Just thought I'd let you guys know. I'll tell you the gender when we find out. ;)


Nothing Can Separate

Romans 8:37-39
"37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I love reading these verses for it reminds me that no matter how badly I screw up, I am forever in the hands of God... It always bothers me though when I have others tell me that you can lose your salvation. Do these verses not say that nothing can separate us from the love of God? There's always the famous "if you commit suicide, you're going to hell." I am thoroughly convinced these people did not read these verses. "neither death nor life... will be able to separate us from the love of God..." Doesn't that mean that NOTHING can separate us? Just because another believer falls away doesn't mean they are doomed to eternal damnation. It is true that a believer has fruits of the spirit. It is true that we are known as believers by our deeds through our faith (Rom. 12). But who in this world is perfect? Instead of JUDGING our fellow believers, why don't we help them? Why don't we try to show them the light again? Why don't we remind them WHY they accepted Christ in the first place?

*sigh* I'm completely heartbroken when someone tells me they want to end their own life. I am hurting when I see another believer turn their back on God. It pains me in ways that I can't explain. It's precious life being wasted, beaten, destroyed by the hands of satan. And yet we feel we have the right to judge their salvation? No! It's between them and God in the end. I am completely convinced that NOTHING can take us away from God. Once we accept Jesus as Lord, that's it. That is EXACTLY what these verses say.

I know some of you may not agree. I know that some of us were raised to believe differently, but frankly, I'm merely stating what the Bible says. What God says. So if we are to truly believe these words, we need to do everything in our ability to help our fellow believers. We are ALL part of the same family. If the Lord didn't spare His chosen people when they rejected Him, why should He spare us when we reject our brothers and sisters in Christ? He will, but He shouldn't.

If you know someone that is hurting, help them. If you know someone that has turned away from God, encourage them. Don't be them over the head, but love them. Remind them why they bothered. Remind them that, no matter what, God still loves them. Sometimes we just need that encouragement to pick ourselves back up again. Be that for someone today.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Baby Names- Again

I'm here to repost the baby names that I like (because I am pregnant and all) and to add some information to the names:

Jocelyn- English German or Latin- Little Goth from the German origin or from the Gaut tribe. It means cheerful or joy in Latin.
Katie- English (possibly Greek)- Pure
Setsuoi (Setsu)- Japanese- Verse (maybe Loyalty or Faith as well)
Ame- Japanese- Rain
Natsu Yuki- Japanese- Summer Snow
Kairi- Japanese- Ocean Village
Lee (Middle Name)- Old English- Healer, Field

Johnathen- Hebrew- God Has Given
Christopher- Greek- Christ-bearer
Daniel- Hebrew- God is my judge
Aiden- Irish- Little Fire
Damien- Greek- To Tame, Subdue
Alberto (Middle Name)- Spanish or German?- Noble, Bright, Famous

There may be more added to this list later. We don't know the gender yet. I'm only 10 weeks. haha. But this is exciting. :) Can't wait to see what we come up with.

Monday, December 23, 2013

When You See His Presence, Follow It

Hello there. It seems that everything I look at and think about this morning revolves around the idea of seeking Christ and following after Him. Whether I am in Joshua, Jeremiah, or some other book, it is all about seeking out my King and praying for His divine intervention.

First, I want to apologize. I don't know who is going to read this or whom I have affected, but I really feel on my heart to say, I'm sorry. I am mainly apologizing to my Almighty King. I have been avoiding Him lately. I know He is here. I do speak to Him on occasion. I have neglected His Word in my life though. I have not picked up His love letter to me much. I have not really soaked in the messages from church necessarily. I write things down and glaze over them. I forget what He has spoken and promised to me. Why? I didn't want to deal with it anymore. I know I prayed for this. I prayed for God to put me into a situation where I must depend on Him. Make it so that I have nothing better to do than to seek His face. What have I done? Not that. I started to and just clicked off. I allowed the light bulb to go out in my heart, in my life. Yet today I decided to pick up His Word and think. Just think about what He is saying to me in my life. I read Jeremiah 29 with the famous verse of "For I have plans to prosper you." Then I read my journal for the past couple weeks. Joshua 3:3-5 is all about seeing the presence of God and moving. Another message is being that the faithful move before they are asked to move (Las personas de fey mueven antes de ellos han preguntado a mover). And even now... I sit here reading this, writing this, and still... I'm stuck. I have not moved. Lord, I haven't. There are so many opportunities presented before me. I have not moved once to do anything about them. I have not sought your face much before this. Yet here I am. I don't know if this is considered a step in the right direction or if I'm making things up. I am lost. I have about a good 4-5 opportunities to do something for You, and I choose nothing. I sit and don't bother to try. Why? Am I afraid?

Lord... I'm afraid that I'm going to pick the wrong thing to do... I always feel that when I make decisions in my life, I fail a lot. I pick the wrong things and it doesn't work out. Some things do. I am married to the most amazing man. I am part of an amazing church and Christian group on campus. I have worked a fabulous job. Some things worked out beautifully! And others? Not so much... I know life is about learning from our mistakes and allowing you to fix them, Lord. I'm just tired of making so many of them.

I desire to do better. Can we take baby steps again? Or can some doors be shut to make it easier to choose? If You would rather that I follow You even with all these open doors, I can do that. I can do that with Your strength. I am uncertain about a lot of things, but I think it is finally time to stop putting off what it is you have in store for me.

I love you, Lord.
I see Your presence. I'm going to follow it. :)

Friday, November 8, 2013

Even a Child

"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right." Proverbs 20:11

We are to step out and have child like faith in this world. We are to be reckless like children and stand up for what we believe in like children. We are to have kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. Yet sometimes we see kids that do not exhibit any of these characteristics. Do we think that this child is just fooling around or do we see them by their conduct? Our conduct, regardless of age, is important when walking with Christ. People will look at us and decide if we are following the good Christian walk or if we are following the ways of the world. It is important for us to follow God in everything we do. If something means breaking from the normal traditions, it is still important to follow God over man.
What can man do against us when God is for us? (Romans 8:31)
Be separate from the world, and have a new mind. (Romans 12:2).

God wants us all to take that step of faith. It may seem like we are "betraying" others at times when we get their opposition, but the opposite is true. Instead you are being an example by believing and following your faith. As long as everything you do is under the hand of God, nothing can stop you.

Last few verses for encouragement: 
"13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
John 14:13-14

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7

" You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you."
John 15:16

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."
1 John 5:14

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


I had every intention to write a super long blog post about some awesome stuff in my life. Instead I want to make a public apology to my husband.

Mi amado precioso,
Thank you so much for everything you have done. Thank you for being there for me and leading me as the head of the household. Thank you for doing the dishes and taking out the trash. Thank you for doing the laundry and all the other little things that you do. Thank you so much for all that you do at work and for being an amazing employee. Thank you, my darling beloved, for treating me like a queen and never turning back.
Forgive me for all the times that I was ungrateful. Forgive me for not helping out more or for slacking on my responsibilities. Forgive me for I know that I do not always treat you like the king you deserve to be treated as. You are royalty in this household. I want to treat you as such.

I also want to ask forgiveness to all my friends and family that have seen me treat my husband disrespectfully. He is everything to me and does not deserve to be treated badly. I want my beloved to also forgive for any public disrespect that I have shown, for I know it pierces deeply.

I do not understand how I got to this point, but I do know that it's time for me to make a change. I love you, mi esposo. Please forgive me.